Today's Thoughts...

A Levesque #61 - Last Rope

 I can't even begin to describe the feelings that I have built up inside of me lately.  This is going to be personal mainly because God gifted me with the ability to not care about your opinion, and this blog isn't for people who know me per se.  It's mainly for my children so they can look and see everything will work out.   NO MATTER WHAT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE HOPE. I've been struggling. Never have I seen such selfishness. Never have I seen so much greed. Never have I seen so much betrayal.  Never have I seen families ripped apart because of ego and pride.   My house and my family will not be torn apart in the process.  We serve the Lord, and no weapon formed against us will prosper.  We are formed on a rock, not sand to blow away when trials come our way.   Somedays will be hard. Shit, somedays are hard. Somedays it will rain. Then, Somedays the sun will shine so bright you'll forget that it was ever raining.  Never give...

A. Levesque #44 - Killer Comparison

Well good afternoon, good morning, or good evening...
Where ever you are, whatever time zone you are in, thank you for taking your time and reading my content.  I appreciate your support and feedback as I continue to write my stories.  

Really my stories are not for me.  My stories are for anyone who wants to hear them.  I would like to think my blog is really a place that my children can go when I am old or something so that they have something to pick on me with. Anyone who knows me personally knows I have absolutely no problem being myself out loud for everyone to see or hear.  It is just who I am.  I love to share myself.  Plus lately, I learned that there is that our time here is so limited.  By the time we realize it, it is almost gone.  I definitely am not going to waste my time not doing what I want.  

My sister and I have a very deep bond.  She is actually my biggest supporter.  She passionately worries about me and pushes me outside of my comfort zone so that I just may find happiness.  She talked me into blogging or writing in general.  She tells me she watches everything I share, everywhere.  Except when she cannot keep up with my obsessive facebook sharing.

We have been through tons of ups and downs.  Tragedy after tragedy.  Somehow we have always managed to stick thick.  She has needed me just as much as I have needed her, and I wanted to share a story about different perspectives with my audience.

My sister is 6 years younger than me.  However, as young children, we can never see the good things in life.  Here comes this new child who got everything.  I truly believed that for some time.  She got everything her little heart desired.  She was a great student.  She was great at everything and never did anything naughty like me.  I couldn't even imagine being as perfect as I saw her.  

One day at the makeshift kitchen table while we were both in our twenties, in my first house with my husband we were talking about all kinds of things.  Out of her mouth comes a statement I will never forget.  She said, "I grew up living in your shadow."  It hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.  I will never forget that statement.  I will never forget how self-centered we (as in I) can be most of the time.  

When I was 20, I joined the military and left home.  Left her at home with our parents who were divorced by that time.  My parents and the entire family was definitely proud of me, especially once I made it through boot camp.  No one really thought I could shut my mouth up long enough to make it through.  I was a troubled teen, but my sister was so young she doesn't remember that time.  She just remembers that big bad military sister that everyone always talked about.  

No one in this world comes with a manual.  We are all just trying to make progress by the day.  Sharing our story might help you to think about your relationship with your sister differently.  It may stop you from not being able to work through your problems with your people.  Maybe it will make you think that you will never visit my site again.  Whatever my stories make you do, I am happy to share them.  

I am going to try and get on here a little bit more.  I can never blog for real if I don't make time for it.  :-)  So I will be writing, and if you are reading thank you. 

 

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