Life Altering Decisions - How to take the jump.

Everyone from time to time has had to make life-altering decisions, and I know I have definitely made some of my own.  I was recently talking with a dear friend of mine, and as she thought I was judging her about drinking (which we all know, isn't my favorite thing and if you didn't know, now you do), but I wasn't and out of the blue she says to me, "How do you make life-altering decisions?"

I always answer rather quickly with something generic that you see on a Facebook post or a commercial slogan.  After the fact, I always get really annoyed that I didn't really get out everything I wanted, which is something that I think that we all kind of do.  So this will be one place that I am going to share these things.  

My automatic response was I didn't have a choice.  I just did them.  I was young, which is always my "go to" excuse.  Then I was kind of curious as to what she meant, so I inquired.  Was it because I joined the military?  Is it because I got married, divorced and remarried?  Moved across the country?  What kind of life-altering decisions are you talking about because the reason I have personally made them have all been different?

She asked me about moving?  How do I move to a new place?  Now in her defense, I have done that quite a bit.  I have lived in Michigan, Indiana, Texas, Kansas, and Florida.  Quite frankly it boils down to one thing.  Every single time I moved from one place to another there was one thing in common, choice.  The first move was signing on the dotted line and became the property of the United States Air Force, and let's be realistic for just a moment.  That decision did not really give me many options of moving especially to the destination of my choice, but I did make the choice.  That alone sent me on a series of events that can not be properly documented in just one blog post.

When I reflected on how is that makes my life-altering decisions, I started to become frustrated.  I made most of my life-altering decisions because of the situations I had gotten myself in or just did it based on someone else's wants.  I actually called the recruiter for someone else (bad idea, do not do these call places for other people, not even your little sister EVER!).  Then next thing I know I am in formation screaming cadence with a training instructor screaming in my face.  Now moving was another story after the Air Force because I got to choose.  First destination, Florida...

Why did I move to Florida?  Let's reflect my friend.  Getting out of the Air Force, I was scared to move home from where I came from because I did not feel any better about myself than when I left.  During my military service, I was blessed with two angels, which meant I needed some sort of family support.  So why not.  Ten months later I moved to Indiana, right down the road from where I call home making my second destination, Indiana.

This destination should have just been Michigan, in hindsight...  I moved here because I finished high school there but only lived there for a few years.  It was literally 20 minutes down the road from where I call home.  I spent 7 agonizing months renting some hole in the wall house that my dad had to paint and put a refrigerator in before I even could move in.  My dad worked there so I would see him often, at that time sometimes too often.  Looking back, I left that house because of so many reasons but I didn't even go there because I wanted to.  After leaving there, I ended up in Michigan.

Still living in Michigan, I love it.  When I left Indiana, you could say I kind of just hopped the border.  I still saw all the same people, in the same frequency except my dad.  He works an awful lot, and even more then.  I went to my hometown, reunited with my family after my time away, seen friends that I had never seen, made new friends, started working, got divorced, got remarried, worked my life away, remodeled a house, fought every day with my brain (BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES THAT) and out of nowhere I decided to pack up my new family and move to the thumb.

This is where I really stopped to reflect because that is why she is asking me.  She could not wrap her brain around how I moved to my new location.  We moved to Vassar, Michigan (pop. 2697).  I do not know a soul here in little town, USA.  It does consist of a grocery store, two medical marijuana dispensaries, two gas stations, and a library.  All of which are extremely important.  My husband and I (who were about to kill each other or divorce) found a house and moved our family away from all we know to some other place.





I made a statement earlier that I was angry because I made all these moves, every single one of them based on my situation and someone else.  It dawned on me this morning, that is not it at all.  I made every single decision because I wanted something different.  I looked around at my surroundings and decided this is not what I want, this is not what I want, and I am still doing that every single day.  When you realize that every single situation, every single person, every obstacle that you face is asking you what do you want?

Do you want to wake up every day surrounded by assholes?  If the answer is no, then stop surrounding yourself with assholes.  If you work with assholes, then find a new job.  If you live with assholes, find a new place to live.  I am not saying to quit your job or leave your house.  I am saying if you want something, go get it.

If you wake up and you are miserable, and someone you love and like to spend time with says, "Move by me."  Move.  Move because you love that person.  Move because you like to spend your time with them instead of where you are spending your time when they are not around.  Do not move just because it is your daughter or your sister.  Think about what you love in life and make that your reality.

Your time is more valuable than the money in your pocket and should be spent with the same amount of importance.  The key is to not just think, but that is the definitely the beginning.  Start thinking about what you want in life.  If you have no one to share with, then tell me in the comments.  (I am really curious).   I am on my own personal journey as well.